happy first anniversary to this site it's a little birthday boyyy <3

i doubt anyone reading this knows this but this is actually a reboot of my previous site under the same name. i deleted it one day and decided to start over. this sounds so silly to type out but part of it was because i hadn’t updated in a long time and didn’t want to see a huge fuck off gap between updates. in hindsight this was a completely deranged thought process <3 i like to think that i know better now but in truth i feel like i'm one bad day away from being there again. that is to say, i still feel like everything i do must be beautiful and untouchable and Perfect or it may as well not even exist, even if i know this feeling isn't really rational.

anyways. i doubt i'll ever be rid of that feeling (the woes of being both an amateur artist and amateur critic) but i've found that one of the ways to bypass that personally is to focus on consistent output rather than quality output. if you scroll down on my index page you’ll see an “under construction” graphic and a short sentence: “updates once (1) every month”. this is as much a promise as it is information; i will be working on this site consistently and imperfectly for the foreseeable future. this strategy has been working decently well so far so i'll try to keep the momentum going <3

i expect to write at least one (1) entry per year, aiming for two (2). i will try not to make them too bad. don’t expect too much personal writing from here on out though. :most of my current drafts are essays about media, so if you like media analysis you’re in luck <3 if/when i publish and finish future projects i may write postmortems <3 i don’t really want to implement comments on here because i uh. cannot be bothered <3 if you want to tell me your thoughts my socials are listed on the right slash bottom, depending on what device you’re using. okay. bye <3

p.s. it’s my birthday i’m also a little birthday boyyy <3

:x drafts

okay since you asked so nicely, here is a non-exhaustive list of drafts i'm working on <3:

  • overanalysing a chapter in american psycho called “tries to kill and eat girl”. the chapter is exactly what it sounds like. um. i don’t really have an excuse for this one except i wrote most of this in a fugue state and i may as well revise it. eventually. i'll get to it when i get to it <3
  • headcanons about gender and sexuality in the cultures of divinity: original sin 2, adapted from this post i wrote in 2022. i might change a few things since it has been two (2) years as of right now. reading this post back i am cringing a little (a lot) (mostly because of the style) but i also like the jokes that i forgot i made. “love loses very, very, very badly in the empire <3” so true king <3 red prince romancers know <3
  • gattaca retrospective slash analysis. i had to watch and analyse this movie as part of my critical thinking elective in high school. i still have the essay i wrote for that and it’s such an interesting time capsule — i almost don’t remember being that person at all. anyways i think i did pretty well back then

anyways. don’t be mad if i don’t get around to finishing these <3 this isn’t my job and i don’t accept money for this <3 (yet)